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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25889974">living for the hope of it all</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothinginfinite/pseuds/nothinginfinite'>nothinginfinite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Disaster Sokka (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Child Abuse, Trans Male Character, Trans Zuko (Avatar), Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:55:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25889974</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothinginfinite/pseuds/nothinginfinite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, jerkbender. Ready get your ass handed to you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko huffs out a soft laugh, eyes still closed. Sokka has yet to beat him but there have been a couple of times where he’s come close. Zuko has to admit that he’s impressed; Sokka has come a long way in skill from the boy who met him on the ice in the South Pole, painfully green yet determined to defend his village. Now, the two of them are on more equal footing and Zuko can’t help but feel proud of Sokka’s improvement. And, if he’s being honest, thankful that they’re on the same side and it won’t be <i>him</i> that Sokka is facing in battle. </p>
<p>Unfolding himself from the lotus position, Zuko makes a soft ‘hmmm’ sound as he moves to stand, stretching his arms above his head, mouth quirking into a small smile. </p>
<p>“When have you ever beaten me?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>507</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>living for the hope of it all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for my pal, Andy. He's been such a sweet soul, listening to my headcanon meltdowns as I navigate the world of <i>Avatar: the Last Airbender</i> for the first time. I haven't actually written real, proper fic in 5 years so this was daunting af and took me nearly 3 weeks to write. /o\</p>
<p>Special thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldheartedsky/pseuds/goldheartedsky">Jonnie</a> for always being my eyes and sounding board when I get stuck.</p>
<p>Title from "august" off of Taylor Swift's new album, <i>Folklore</i>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s still early morning when Sokka comes to find him. As is the nature of a firebender, Zuko arose with the sun this morning, careful to stay quiet as he made his way to the training grounds he and Aang use to practice firebending. He’s already completed his morning routine, working gracefully through his forms before sitting down to meditate. </p>
<p>Summer on Ember Island is <i>hot</i>. It’s not nearly as warm as summers in Caldera City but it’s still the Fire Nation and the Dragon Days, the peak of summertime heat, are nearly unbearable, even for firebenders. Sure, it’s only mid-morning but Zuko can already feel the sweat gathering at his temples and slipping down his back. It’s only made all the worse by the fabric binding his chest and the double tunic he’s wearing and he’s already longing for the cool water of the sea and it’s not even the hottest part of the day yet. </p>
<p>“Hey, jerkbender. Ready get your ass handed to you?”</p>
<p>Zuko huffs out a soft laugh, eyes still closed. Sokka has yet to beat him but there have been a couple of times where he’s come close. Zuko has to admit that he’s impressed; Sokka has come a long way in skill from the boy who met him on the ice in the South Pole, painfully green yet determined to defend his village. Now, the two of them are on more equal footing and Zuko can’t help but feel proud of Sokka’s improvement. And, if he’s being honest, thankful that they’re on the same side and it won’t be <i>him</i> that Sokka is facing in battle. </p>
<p>Unfolding himself from the lotus position, Zuko makes a soft ‘hmmm’ sound as he moves to stand, stretching his arms above his head, mouth quirking into a small smile. </p>
<p>“When have you ever beaten me?”</p>
<p>“Hey! I’ve come close!” Even with his eyes still closed, Zuko can tell that Sokka is pouting and it makes something flutter in his chest. </p>
<p>“Yes, but <i>close</i> is not the same as <i>winning</i>, Sokka.” He’s teasing, riling Sokka up and it’s still amazing to Zuko that he’s not only training the <i>Avatar</i> in firebending, but he’s somehow made friends with the rest of the group. </p>
<p>“Hmph. You say that <i>now</i> but today is going to be different. I can feel it.” </p>
<p>Opening his eyes, Zuko walks over to where he’d set his dual dao, picking them up to inspect their blades. He glances at Sokka over his shoulder, mouth twisting up into a teasing smirk.</p>
<p>“Well, then. Bring it, Water Tribe.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div>In the end, Sokka <i>does</i> win, managing to knock away one of Zuko’s swords and taking advantage of Zuko’s surprise to tackle him to the ground, the other sword clattering away.<p>“I won!”, Sukka crows, pushing himself up onto his arms, still half-draped over Zuko where they both lie sprawled on the ground. </p>
<p>Huffing breath, Zuko rolls his eyes, trying to hide a grin. Sokka looks good like this, flushed and sweaty and triumphant in his victory. Zuko swallows and forcefully pushes those feelings away; now is not the time.<br/>
“Are you gonna let me up any time soon?”</p>
<p>Sokka makes a choked-off sound and scrambles to sit up so he’s seated next to Zuko, rather than on him. “Sorry. I got carried away.”</p>
<p>“You don’t say,” Zuko responds drily. “In all seriousness, you did really well today.” </p>
<p>Sokka flops onto his back dramatically, throwing an arm over his eyes. “I would’ve beat you sooner if it wasn’t so damn hot. I can’t focus properly in this heat.” </p>
<p>Even shirtless, Sokka is drenched in sweat and his skin is flushed with more than exertion. Zuko doesn’t doubt that the heat is taking its toll on the Water Tribesman. Standing, Zuko goes back over to his bag to grab his canteen, bringing it back to Sokka. He nudges Sokka’s arm with his toe and holds out the canteen. “Here, drink. You’re going to need to make sure that you stay really hydrated while you’re in the Fire Nation. At least until you get used to the heat.”</p>
<p>Sokks sits up and accepts the canteen gratefully and Zuko has to avert his eyes so he doesn’t stare at the long line of Sokka’s neck as he tilts his head back to drink. Turning around, Zuko goes to collect his swords and replace them in their scabbard. </p>
<p>“What about you?”</p>
<p>Frowning in confusion, Zuko turns towards Sokka. “What about me?”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you miserable? I know you’re a firebender and you have like, <i>fire</i> in your veins but c’mon, jerkbender. Even you’ve got to be dying under all of those layers.”</p>
<p>Zuko freezes, fear coursing through him. <i>Don’t freak out, Zuko. He probably doesn’t mean anything by it.</i> Forcing himself to relax, Zuko’s going for casual when he shrugs and looks away from Sokka again, attention focused on the scabbard in his hands. “Like you said, I’m a firebender. Not to mention, I was raised in the Fire Nation; the heat doesn’t bother me.” </p>
<p>“Zuko.”</p>
<p>Zuko ignores Sokka in favor of trying to look extremely busy cleaning up from their training but it’s really all for naught; there isn’t much to clean up and Zuko realises quickly that he’s going to have face Sokka’s inquiries head-on. Maybe he can make up something believable without actually having to share his secret. </p>
<p>“Zuko.”</p>
<p>“Sokka.” </p>
<p>“I know that swordbending-”</p>
<p>“<i>Please</i> stop calling it that.”</p>
<p>“<i>Swordbending</i> makes you hotter. You’re nearly <i>steaming</i> with how much you’re sweating. Why don’t you at least take off your tunics so you don’t keel over and die.” Sokka looks horrified for a moment. “Oh, sea and snow, <i>please</i> don’t keel over and die. Katara would murder me if I killed Aang’s only chance at a firebending teacher.”</p>
<p>Zuko levels an unimpressed stare at Sokka. Agni, and people think <i>Zuko</i> is dramatic. “I’m not going to die.”</p>
<p>Zuko chews his bottom lip for a moment, debating. After a moment, he walks back over to Sokka and sits down next to him. Closing his eyes, Zuko inhales deeply and lets it out slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. “Do you know how I got my scar?”</p>
<p>Chancing a glance at Sokka out of the corner of his eye, Zuko sees him go rigid, startled no doubt by the change in topic. “I...what? Um. No. I figured it was just a training accident.”</p>
<p>Lips twitching in a sardonic smile, Zuko shakes his head. “That’s what my fa-Ozai. That’s what Ozai would have you believe.” Staring at his lap, Zuko fiddles with the loose strings on his trousers so that he doesn’t have to look at Sokka and see the look on his face. “I wasn’t....I wasn’t born like...<i>this</i>. All of my life, I’ve felt different. As shameful as it is for a firstborn heir to be a girl, in Ozai’s eyes, it was more shameful for his heir to be born a boy in a girl’s body. My father has always said that Azula was born lucky and I....well, I was lucky to be born.” </p>
<p>Sokka makes a sound next to him and Zuko can tell he wants to say something but he cuts him off, not sure he’ll be able to get the story out otherwise. “Obviously, the public could never know this <i>shameful</i> secret so it’s never been revealed that I wasn’t born this way. But my father has spent my whole life looking for a reason for me to disappear. When I was thirteen, I spoke out of turn in a war meeting. My father said that I had embarrassed him and as a result, I was forced to fight an Agni Kai. I thought I would be duelling against the general I had spoken out against. Instead, it was my father I faced.”</p>
<p>Next to him, Sokka inhaled sharply and Zuko closed his eyes against the sudden wet heat building behind them. “I refused to fight and I apologized for dishonoring my father. I begged for his forgiveness. He gave me this scar instead and banished me from the kingdom, sent on a mission that he knew was nigh impossible to complete, just to be rid of me. If he’d had his way, I wouldn’t still be here.”</p>
<p>Sokka was practically vibrating out of his skin next to him and Zuko’s stomach dropped as he braced for the inevitable tirade of rage and disgust. He’s not expecting it when Sokka flings his arms around him and Zuko yelps as he tries to keep them both from toppling over. </p>
<p>“What kind of father challenges his own son to a potentially fatal duel?!” Zuko’s eyes snap open in surprise and he angles his head down to try and meet Sokka’s eyes but Sokka is like a koalasloth and refuses to let go. “You know that’s not normal, right? Even for the Fire Nation and all its crazy.” </p>
<p>“I-” Zuko breaks off with another yelp when Sokka somehow squeezes him even tighter. </p>
<p>“I’m serious, Zuko. What Ozai did is wrong and he should have thanked his lucky stars that he got <i>you</i> for a son.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s gobsmacked and he knows his mouth has fallen open in shock but he can’t bring himself to care. “I. You aren’t disgusted by me?”</p>
<p>“No?” Sokka does pull back now, brow creased in confusion. “Zuko, you aren’t something to be ashamed of. Sometimes the Spirits get it wrong and people are born into bodies that don’t match who they are on the inside. But that doesn’t make them <i>wrong</i> or <i>shameful</i>.”</p>
<p>“You’ve...you’ve met someone like me before?”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah.” Sokka rubs the back of his neck, shrugging. “Things aren’t quite so...<i>intolerant</i> in the South Pole.” He winces, before continuing. “It’s not like <i>everyone</i> is born in the wrong skin or likes their same gender. But it’s also not a crime to be different and nobody cares who you love, just that you’re a good person.” </p>
<p>“Oh.” That kind of freedom, to be who you are and love who you love, without retribution, Zuko doesn’t know. By Fire Nation laws, he’s lucky to still be alive. </p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks up, confusion marring his face. “For what?”</p>
<p>“For telling me.” Sokka is looking at him with so much sincerity, Zuko has to look away when it becomes too much. “For trusting me. I know how scary it was when I told someone that I like boys <i>and</i> girls and I feel honored to know that you trusted me enough to confide in me.” </p>
<p>Zuko can’t put into words everything he’s feeling right now and he knows he’s blushing madly so he just ‘hmmm’s and ducks his head, glancing shyly at Sokka through his lashes. </p>
<p><i>Sokka likes boys</i> is playing on a hopeful loop in his head.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div>Zuko’s up with the sun the next morning, working through his <i>katas</i> when he hears movement behind him. Figuring it’s probably Aang, Zuko continues moving gracefully from form to form, only turning his attention to the newcomer once he’s finished. Finding Sokka instead, Zuko thinks he should feel more surprised than he does, after yesterday’s conversation, but instead he feels relief and inexplicably shy.<p>“Hey, jerkbender. Ready to get your ass handed to you?”</p>
<p>The laugh bursts out of Zuko’s whole chest before he can stop it and he claps a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound. It’s such an inane opener and it really isn’t even funny, but Zuko feels a little hysterical anyway. </p>
<p>Sokka’s grinning as he meanders over to Zuko and throws an arm around Zuko’s shaking shoulders, his free hand spreading out before them. “Today’s the day. I can feel it.” </p>
<p>Zuko is very aware of everywhere they’re touching and Sokka’s arm is both a welcome weight and altogether too heavy, so he shrugs him off and then bumps their shoulders, smiling up at Sokka. </p>
<p>“Are you sure you can handle another loss?” Zuko’s got his swords in hand in short order and this time, he even manages not to blush as he levels a challenging gaze at Sokka, who’d ditched his tunic at some point while Zuko was getting ready.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe if you evened up the playing field some, it wouldn’t be such an unfair advantage when I win.” Sokka says it, nonchalantly, but his gaze is gentle and encouraging. </p>
<p>Zuko knows what he’s asking and he pauses, flicking a nervous gaze back down the trail where the rest of the Gaang is sleeping. It <i>is</i> early and they’ve got at least an hour before Aang will be up and coming to look for them. Steeling his resolve, Zuko gives a decisive nod before peeling his topmost tunic up and over his head. He hesitates, fingers on the hem of the second one but Sokka just gives him another encouraging smile as he pulls his hair up into his signature wolftail. Feeling uncharacteristically brave, Zuko pulls off the other tunic and tosses it away before he can second-guess himself. </p>
<p>“Bring it, Water Tribe.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div>Later, after Zuko soundly kicks his ass and they’re both splayed out on the ground, breathing hard, Sokka turns to Zuko with a sweaty grin and says, “Okay, yeah. Maybe I need to work a bit harder. I didn’t expect <i>you</i> to be so distracting without your shirt on.”<p>And <i>oh</i>. Zuko isn’t expecting that. He turns his head to say something, <i>anything</i> but the moment is broken when Aang barrels into the clearing on an air ball, Momo hot on his heels. </p>
<p>Maybe later, when it’s just the two of them again, Zuko will be brave again and maybe, Sokka will let him hold his hand.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>fin.</i>
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not really on tumblr much these days but feel free to come yell at me on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/captnhoran">@captnhoran</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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